The plight of Japan’s left-behind parents
Saturday, October 29th, 2011
By Simon Scott
9:06 AM Saturday Oct 29, 2011
On April 3 last year Alex Kahney’s wife, Keiko Ono, took their two daughters, Selene, 9, and Cale, 7, and abruptly moved out of the family home in the Denenchofu, the up-market Tokyo suburb where they had lived for more than seven years.
Naturally Alex, who works as a medical researcher and writer, was worried about getting access to his children, but his wife reassured him it would not be a problem.
“She said to me: ‘Don’t worry, you will always be able to see them’.”
But the following Friday his wife cancelled a camping trip he had arranged to go on with his daughters and after she failed to telephone on the Sunday as promised to arrange a visit with the kids that day, Alex become worried.
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Michael Starr says:
November 2nd, 2011
9:10 pm
Horror story – mine began in 2003 when my pregnant wife took my 13 month old daughter, didn’t her again for years (the first words I heard her speak were in Japanese in a public playground and translate as “Who are you? Why are you crying?”). The Japanese courts informed me of the birth of my son, saw him for the first time when he was about 2 years old. The children have been taught to hate and fear me over the years. Don’t expect anything from the Japanese courts, judges, negotiators, or lawyers. But never give in or give up – all the consessions I have made have came back to haunt me, and every agreement I’ve spent thousands of dollars getting to and every court order produced has been ignored with impunity. I am currently granted a few hours visitation (NO OVERNIGHTS!)once a month by the Japanese courts, but the ex never shows. Am granted a skype call once a week by the Japanese courts, but the kids won’t put on video, and the mother has an agenda of accusations for them to toss my way, etc. Last call was simply: son not interested in talking, daughter said I hate you and don’t want to talk to you. I typed “Love you both” into the screen, received an angry emoticon in return as they disconnected. If parental alienation is child abuse, I’d say they are being abused. Plenty of photographic evidence of child abuse from prior years shown to Japanese courts (the very same evidence that caused her to flee from the US authorities) but the Japanese courts refused to acknowledge it and instead said to me: “This sort of thing happens in the US all the time doesn’t it?” (Implying they were safe now, being in Japan…despite being with the person abusing them.) Last time I spoke with the Japanese courts they said the mother was stressed because I kept trying to see the kids and was therefore taking it out on the kids, so if I really cared about the kids, I would stop putting pressure on the mother for visitation and just give up. They were serious. A woman I have not directly interacted with for nearly a decade is abusing my childern and it is my fault according to the Japnese courts. Sucks being a US citizen in a Japanese court. There’s more, but 8 years and multiple courts, judges, lawyers negotiators later, the results and responces never change. I won’t give up on my kids, and you shouldn’t either. My job now is to focus on how much I love them and be prepared to return that love, even if it means forgiving their mother and complicit Japan for the grave injustice wrought.